How do you see yourself? Talk about a loaded question, right?
While you ponder that, let me tell you what brought this question to my mind recently.
For years I saw myself as broken. In my mind, I wasn't just broken, but I was beyond repair, without any hope of being put back together again. I was a shattered piece of pottery or a rusted piece of metal that had been shredded to pieces. Even after I became a Christian, I always thought, while I preached healing and wholeness and restoration to others, I was simply beyond repair. God could surely heal others, but not me - what an inflated view I had of myself!
Recently, at the end of a church service, the pastor encouraged the congregation that, if we felt broken beyond repair, God could restore and heal us. In that moment, I realized I no longer put myself in that category. I didn't think this in an arrogant way, but realized that the truth that no one is too far gone for God had made its way deep into my heart.
Slowly, over the past few years, God has been healing me in all areas of my life. He’s been changing my perspective and view of the world, myself, others, and who he is. Some of the things I once believed so strongly about myself are no longer certainties I cling to.
But here’s the reality of the situation: I realize that I’m more screwed up than I ever have been before. I seem to be more aware of my sin and brokenness than I ever have, and yet, I am more and more aware of God's grace. I know I’m not too far gone. I know that my God is bigger than any sin or mistake I could make and that it’s his delight to love me.
Somehow, over time, I have been transformed from this shattered pot or this heap of rusted scrap metal, and into this other thing. It’s like he’s been in the process of soldering me back together or reforming my shattered clay scraps piece by piece. I still have flaws and sins and things that cause me to stumble, but I can honestly say that his grace is sufficient for me.
I want to encourage you to spend some time with God and just let him do in your life what he wants to do. If he wants to heal brokenness, let him, if he wants to expose sin, let him, if he wants to show you who you are, let him. Spend some time with him and experience the joy and the restoration and the freedom that only comes from him!
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